Jesus had a say in marriage that almost universally is ignored everywhere in the Christian world. I have never once attended a church traveling the world (nor has any of my missionary friends who have traveled the world) remember one sermon on marriage and what Jesus himself said about it.

It is so heavily ignored it´s almost like it does not exist. It is like every other teaching from Christ, but with extra chains and locks for this one. Likewise, it is certainly not easy to follow, but again Jesus makes the rules. We should love our Lord and be a good sheep in obedience. In Matthew we have a picture of the Pharisees using an old law to justify divorce.

”The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female? And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (the last word means separate) They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” (Matthew 19:3-8)

Look at that, ladies and gentlemen. Did you hear what Jesus just said? He said from the beginning divorce was not something that God really wanted. If anything it was tolerated, but I am sure every time a married couple separates it breaks Gods heart and its something he never intended. Jesus said what God had joined together, let no one separate. Some people argue that divorce is not allowed at all, but let’s hear what Jesus said about it a little after these other verses.

”And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”
(Matthew 19:9)

Jesus is saying that if your significant other (who is married) is committing sexual acts with someone else or cheating behind your back constantly and there is no room for repentance, you have grounds for divorce. That’s what the first part means in that verse. In the second part, Jesus says if you marry again, you are committing adultery. And he repeats that part I just mentioned, making it crystal clear for his readers. If you marry someone who is put away or divorced, you are committing adultery.

In Matthew 5:32, Jesus repeated the same thing previously, showing that he took this issue seriously. Not only is Jesus recorded repeating it twice in the same time, but it’s written down in three different gospels.

Now I want to make it very clear in my own words what Jesus is saying because people often get confused on this whole marriage issue and what the verse is saying. Whoever puts away his wife (you are allowed to put away your wife on the grounds of fornication) and marries another person after you already have been married, you are committing adultery. If you marry another person who has been divorced, you are committing adultery.

Now some people think just because they are the innocent party and they were the ones who were cheated on, that gives them grounds to marry a second time. Jesus never gives that privilege, he just says if anyone marries again, they are committing adultery. That means, innocent or not, you only have one chance to marry the right person, and if it goes sour, you can´t marry again.

That is the hard truth. This means that if you stay with your second partner and have sexual relations, you will be committing adultery the rest of your life according to Jesus. I am sorry to give you such hard teachings, but it is what Jesus demands. It is better to hear it now than later on Judgment Day from God. At least now you have time to make a choice. But in case you don’t want to hear this teaching from Jesus, here is Paul too.

”And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)

There you go, brothers and sisters, Paul reinforces what Jesus himself taught. Paul is saying don’t divorce if you do not have to as the Pharisees practiced. If you do depart from your significant other from fornication with someone else, remain unmarried, and hopefully later try to get back with your original partner and forgive and move on.

It is not an easy decision to make, especially if you have put a large amount of time into your second husband or wife. But it is part of obeying what Jesus taught. If people had followed this teaching from Jesus, we would not have so many divorces, shallow marriages, abandoned children from parents who don’t want to take responsibility for whom they have born, and even abused children. There are more remarriages in the supposedly Christian world than anywhere else, showing that people don’t really know what Jesus said or don’t care.

Jesus also said if you do not leave your husband or wife or even your family in obedience to him, you cannot be a follower of him or a Christian.

“If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26)

It may feel almost impossible to follow this teaching because departing from your loved one hurts, but there is no reason they can’t come along with you if they see what Jesus is saying as well. As long as sexual relations are not practiced, you can still live together caring for one another; it just won´t be the deeper relationship you had before.

With God anything is possible (Philippians 4:13), so don’t believe that it cannot be done, I have known people who have practiced this teaching in obedience and are just fine and happy to serve the Lord and others.

There is nothing more to be said about this topic; it is a little short but punchy, and I hope you have learned something about Jesus position on divorce and remarriage. Thank you for taking the time to read. I hope the best for you and your significant other; God bless you.